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G’day from Mr Beach Cottage – my fun life in BC Land

Tue 26th, Oct, 2010

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G’day!  My name is Mr BC.  Well actually I don’t go around introducing myself as that as a rule, but I think I do round here ;-).

I’m told I am to call you BCer’s…and to tell you that my lovely wife Mrs BC has announced, while flying around on her broomstick, that she has writer’s-block and that my marital duties must now encompass blogging -her request was for a spouse guest post on Channel BC.

I must say I am very surprised at the request for my editorial talent, as it’s not really my thing.

But knowing that a happy wife is a happy life I give you my first post here at all things Beach Cottage & my notes on erecting IKEA industrial chic shelving (or that is the look we are going for so I’m told)

The following steps apply.

 1.       First off, you must accept that you need to spend 700 Ikea bucks to upgrade from the 300 Ikea bucks old (but perfectly satisfactory) brekkie room storage.

2.       Transportation – not easy to get into car, requires operation to strap to roof bars, with special attention to avoid javelin style launches when meeting red traffic lights.  Heavy, long and solid parts – very scary.

3.       Store in garage for at least one week, preferably a month (use excuses along the lines of wood grain settlement, temperature acclimatisation and “sea-air” & coastal atmosphere erosion customisation).

4.       Study instruction leaflet with patronising and precise diagrams that tell you nothing but the obvious.

5.       Clear area (making the house unusable) and start moaning.

 

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 6.       Lay out all parts, crack knee joints a few times, then crack open a beer.

 

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 7.       Despite having purchased more wall plugs than anyone you know – find that you do not have enough.  Trek to shop.  Purchase more wall plugs.

8.       Open additional parts and find that they do not come with screws etc.  Give up for the day.

9.       Purchase screws.  

10.   Find that you need longer screws with different size heads. 

11.   Try to “fudge-it” with alternate screws, then realise that entire kitchen crockery collection could fall on family. 

12.   Become tempted with the idea of a single man’s life – open another beer and daydream of the “good old days”.  Give up for the day.

 13.   Purchase more screws.  Get input from other males in the family

 

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14.   Don’t bother with ladder, balance on kitchen stool instead.  Stretch and balance awkwardly whilst onlookers instruct “left a bit” and “right a bit”. Grit teeth.  Swig beer.

 

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 15.   Moan, tell kids off for not pulling their weight – because you are the only one working.  Have a beer and peanuts break.

16.   Get into your swing, and fit a few shelves where you think that they should go.

17.   Remove all shelves (as lovely wife declares them to be totally wrong, think about shooting the foreman) and move a few millimetres in the instructed direction to make them “perfect”.

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18.   Ignore comments regarding preference to previous unit from wife & that she ‘hates it’, clear tools etc to garage and stay out of the way for a while with beer. 

19. Think about living in an open-plan trendy new house with built in storage. Know you won’t be allowed one ever.

20.  Ponder screws & screwing.  Envisage the battle for the top shelf between bottles of the vintage glass variety and the speciality beer variety.

And that’s it from me

I am heading to the garage, wtih a beer

My name is 


(p.s. if you bump into me in other circles I’d rather we lose the bc thing :-) )

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65 Responses to “G’day from Mr Beach Cottage – my fun life in BC Land”

  1. Krista says:

    Ha – I love it!! :-) You greatly amused me this evening, Mr. BC, as I can practically hear my brothers responding in EXACTLY the same way when I rope them into helping me with my projects. :-) Note to self: next time bring more beer. :-)

  2. that was brilliant, laughed out loud numerous times and a must show to my husband post who will totally agree with all of it.

  3. carla says:

    Hilarious!!! I actually laughed out loud esp at no. 3, Ive heard similar excuses myself!!! Lol!! xx

  4. Tammi N says:

    Too funny!!!!, an enjoyable read and one that I am sure my hubby can relate too :) :)

  5. Janelle says:

    Hahaha… love it! Very amusing insight into what goes on in most homes where Ikea is involved I’m sure!!

  6. HA!!! Good job!!!

    Although you’d have been smart to really mess it up so Sarah wouldn’t ask you to do it again… ;)

  7. susan says:

    what a great bloke… I love the beer being an essential part of your renos!! funny :):)

  8. marylou says:

    I just shared this hilarious blog with my dh and guess what??? After much laughter we are gonna work on shelving tomorrow;-)
    Note to self…be sure to have plenty of beer in fridge ((*_*))
    **smiles**

  9. You and my hubby would get along great…he loves beer.
    Our new home is open plan and all built in..sorry :-) Come visit…we have beer…lots…

  10. Kirsty says:

    Fantastic. It’s time mr BC had his own blog! ;) hehe

  11. lizzy says:

    now this fantastic blog has been elevated to a whole new level……..
    Good onya mate!

  12. Suzanne says:

    Ha! I know my dear husband thinks number 19 very regularly!

  13. Anne-Marie says:

    Mr BC
    Ikea is fabulous but the installation of it is designed to send one stark raving mad.
    Hence my darling husband starts to shake at the mere mention of this four letter word.
    Is it time for another beer?
    xx

  14. bec says:

    ha ha – what a laugh! Thanks for the post :)

  15. Alessandra says:

    LOL! that means loughing out loudly, just saying.
    Great post, you have a future as a blogger!

  16. embow says:

    awwwwww you guys!!!!!!!!!!

    that made me smile lots on an otherwise grey, damp and dreary devonshire tuesday!

    xxx

  17. carla says:

    Just read it again….you guys are so funny….a real comedy act! It must be a riot in the beach cottage, its that humour and happiness that is so inspirational…..although the beer helps ;o) xx

  18. JacquiMcR says:

    Good morning from a wet and windy Scotland. Well done, for your first blog, it was very entertaining and funny. My husband likes the beer philosophy. What is it with men and screws? I have never understood my husbands fascination and am sure we must have every size and type, yet with every project he departs to the DIY store. Good luck with the storage – Jacqui

  19. Susan Page says:

    What a classic. I read your blog over and over. Mr BC is soooo entertaining….he needs to give up his day job and go into comedy. I just loved it and it reminded me so much of my husband….all men must be alike. Thanks you guys just made my day.

  20. Elaine in Laguna says:

    Loved your first post! A great laugh this morning…It’s always at least 3 additional trips to the hardware store to get anything done! Great job! Can’t wait for the rest of the “reveal” as they say!

  21. nanda says:

    hahaha
    i like it

  22. andre says:

    hohohoho
    what are they doing?

  23. jack says:

    i do not know what i have to say to you
    hahahahaha

  24. Laura says:

    I think you and my hubby could talk at great lengths about the miserable lives you lead… over a beer of course… at the end of which you’d both be professing what beautiful lives you have and of course beautiful wives you have… I find beer does that… that why I always keep the fridge stocked…

  25. Christine Aldinger says:

    lol too funny you and my hubby would have gone through many of beers infact he would have eventually said F*** this lets go to the bar!!! for 1st time posting you did fantastic……..you must be a super hubby as we say a Keeper

  26. jenna Carey says:

    Mr. BC you’re hilarious and your always lovely wife had good instincts when she wheedled you into posting on her amazing blog:) You’re hilarious with the whole beer thing, and I’m sure my husband would sympathize wholeheartedly with you over Ikea shelving as he is the one who gets to do all the tough Ikea assembly around here. Hope you blog again soon!

    ***Jenna

  27. Beth West says:

    It’s all in the attitude. Think of all the character you’re developing! It would be a boring life for sure if all you got to do was go for walks on the beach and relax.

  28. cindy says:

    Sounds like you had a lot of fun!:) Hugs, Cindy

  29. Maria Eyerly says:

    LOVE IT! Great post, Mr. BC. Can’t wait to see the end result.

  30. Holly says:

    What a trooper you are!! You have the life of a DIY wife’s husband! It sounded like my husband was writing this post! I just made him take down a mirror and lower it 1/2 inch!

    Keep up the good work because a happy wife IS a happy life! <3

  31. Suze says:

    I thank you for the smirks and giggles that your post gave me. I love the photos of you balancing on the stool. Please post again. It comforts me to read all the Ikea stories. Those assembly guides are something else.

  32. Wonderful !
    Not only a loyal and hardworking co-blogger but you can do things with hammers and nails !
    I am impressed and slightly envious. Some men just aren’t cut out for tool kits and measuring tapes..

  33. Shar Y. says:

    That was so hilarious. Perhaps you didn’t think so at the time, but your recap is priceless. Thanks for joining us virtual onlookers. We love BC land!

  34. sue austin says:

    Hello Mr. BC, I enjoyed your blog post very much.

  35. Toni says:

    Loved the post Mr. BC…….but you might want another beer after my question??
    Where is the photos showing your completed project?
    I’ll send a six pack your way :)
    Toni

  36. Gina says:

    Hi Mr. BC, nice to hear from you, although we know you by your photos. That was a great post!
    And yes, were you able to finish your project because I am sure you finished your beer…LOL…

  37. kerrie says:

    Hilarious! My hubby The Carpenter will get a kick out of this! If we lived in your parts he could have come by and given you a hand and had a few beers with you. My son, young carpenter, would join in too, especially for the beer part! (he’s 20)

  38. LaPriel says:

    Love it! Sounds just like when I do a project at my house. Glad to know that my projects aren’t the only ones to go like this!

  39. Denise says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post! Loved the tongue-in-cheek humor as well. Hope we hear more from you “Mr. BC!”

  40. oh…we aussies here in the english countryside…love your post…

    the hubster says *always good to have a precise reliable back-up plan* … beer….

    looking forward to seeing that cute little kitchen in bc land finished…as no doubt…so are you!! ;)

    take a well earned rest…& just think if the shelves fall off…you could always move into comedy…sure you guys have a host of material to draw from…!

    Melissa :)

  41. Angie Smith says:

    Wonderful post Mr BC many giggles as I read. Hope Mrs BC gets off her broomstick soon for your sake. We can go a few days without a blog, not sure how long you can tolerate that broom riding !

  42. Pleased to meet you Mr. BC…well done tutorial I might add. From the photos you have quite an adorable little helper, you don’t by chance loan him out? haha,, all kidding aside, the kitchen turned out remarkable, and I think you and your wife make a great team. My husband and I have been re purposing old things since we got married nearly 27 years ago, in fact he’s working on a lovely cabinet as I type this. I personally think it draws a couple closer together to work on things for their nest. However I didn’t realise I was to allow him a peanut and beer break ;)

  43. I need a handy man. When are you available to come visit?

  44. Susan says:

    Dear Mr. BC,
    You DO have a fun life!
    Here’s a tip for you.
    When asked to assemble anything, curse, stomp around and be generally so disagreeable and unpleasant that you will never ever be asked to assemble anything ever again! (sorry Sarah)
    It works for my husband.

  45. That’s just how projects go on at my house. Very funny!

  46. Delcie says:

    I can’t wait to show this to my ‘ever loving’ ‘screw loving’ handyman tonight.

  47. Nicola says:

    Nice to meet you Mr BC – thanks for your very entertaining editorial contribution, this BCer enjoyed it very much!

    It is wonderful to hear that you have settled into the ways and customs of your typical Aussie Male, that is beer fixes everything and when all else fails – retreat to the garage/shed!

    By, the by, you did a wonderful job on your new kitchen storage – perhaps you could give my DH a few hints!

  48. Glad to have you in blogland, Mr. BC! I’m sure Sarah appreciates the break! :) I’m now pondering ways to coerce Mr. WWC to now commence with blogging duties. Hmmm…

  49. Bianca says:

    Hello Mr. BC, My computer geek boyf could learn a lot from a handyman like you.
    I asked him to hang some curtains in the bedroom because our yearly window cleaner was coming early. I came home to find that he had gaffa taped them to the wall!

  50. Kathy says:

    completely hiliarious…………………loved all the beer breaks and the ikea instruction reference….you are too funny. Hey, at least the end result is the happy wife and with you, now a happy life…xxxx

  51. Suz says:

    SOOOOOO FUNNY!!……OH says that sounds like here….don’t know what he can mean..a screw is a screw is a screw…isn’t it? lol

  52. Sarah says:

    a screw is a screw apart from when it is screwing ;-)

  53. Kymmie says:

    I’m loving Mr BC already. He is funny, gorgeous, and clearly has a cute butt. Sense of humour definitely a bonus. Mrs BC, aren’t you lucky? xx

  54. Elisabeth says:

    Wow, what a funny guy! Maybe you’ll show us his face sometime!

  55. Dawn Almond says:

    So, Mr BC, that was great! So,Sarah, or Princess BC, as I like to call her now, is going to have you blogging while she’s busy running the shop, you know! I can’t help but feel sorry for you & my hubby, as I put him though the same situations. He seems to manage with the help of plenty of beer, as well! lol! I’m so glad to see the shop is up & running! Maybe one day, in my dreams, I’ll be able to visit Australia, & stay in ” the future BC Bed & Breakfast”, watch out Mr BC! LoL!,you & my hubby could share a few beers,while me & the “Princess” can frolick about the beaches all day, looking for tatty ol’ chairs, tables, suitcases, & old wedding dresses, to bring back to life LOL! A girl can dream can’t she!? LOL!

  56. Liz says:

    So enjoyed this! Mr. BC you get major points for taking on the blog for the day and doing so in such an entertaining manner! Sarah, brilliant idea presenting the guy’s perspective on tackling your recent project! Great idea!

  57. Awesome. I think he would be able to bemoan the life as partner to a female blogger with my boyfriend, who’s recently been sharing similar anecdotes on my blog :)
    http://theborrowedabode.com/2010/09/what-the-hell-a-psa/

  58. Ha ha definitely a different perspective… What a delightful and fun read. Mr. BC has quite a few talents.great idea to share Great idea have him guest post for the project too.Po

  59. Mr. BC, you’ve done a fantastic job blogging here. You may have to make it a regular thing. I have a feeling it’s a lot easier than putting up Ikea furniture, shelves, etc. We’ve just redone our cottage and hubby has spent many an hour-day-week- assembling furniture and such. Isn’t it amazing that you can do it with no words or instructions, just those silly pictures of dough boy people? Now go have another beer and congratulate yourself on a job well done!